Post by The Folks @ TanneryWhistle.com on Sept 29, 2003 11:07:29 GMT -5
Cratis Williams, the late "Dean of Appalachia" over at ASU once put together a collection of "mountain metaphor" that was largely humorous, but sometimes downright poetic. An amazing number of the metaphors were obscene and probably should be used with caution. However, I remember that he had some old standards, such as: "He was grinning like a mule eating saw-briars." "The dirt was so poor in that county, they buried the dead with baking soda so they could rise again." "The land over there is so steep, you can skin your nose walking up it." "He is as slow as fog rising off cow manure" (sometimes "he is as slow as cold molasses." These things go on forever. Cratis had close to a thousand. Gary
Post by Ol' John Brown on Oct 1, 2003 2:53:24 GMT -5
Here's a couple of cute one's about slowness . . .
"He was so slow that we had to draw a chalk line around him and come back every few hours to see if he had moved!"
"He was such a slow carpenter that I had to sight him in the claw of my hammer to tell whether or not he was moving!"
This part isn't and old saying as much as a comical reflection:
Our landlord has a fellow working for him (both will remain nameless) doing carpentry work and such and he was an excellent carpenter but . . . he was just shy of 80 years old.
He came to our house to put up new siding at 7:00 am each morning. He measured, cut and hung one piece of siding before lunch and did the same after dinner before calling it a day.
This went on for a couple of days before we called the landlord and suggested that the old fellow might appreciate an extra hand . . . The landlord understood and said he would take care of it. The next morning, I come out of the house to go to work and find a guy helping him . . . a guy with one arm
The siding job was finnaly finished some three months later.
NORMAL[/i][/color] is a cycle on a washing machine --John McAffee
Here's a few more I recall: I felt as nervous as a cat in a clay alley She felt as welcome as a whore at the church picnic That child's so ugly they'll have to put a pork chop around his neck just so the dogs will play with him By the time I finally finished, I was plum dog tired. Thanks for the memories! --CAcolonel